My Hilariously Horrifying Trip to the Dark Web (Don’t Try This at Home, You Morons)

Brandt Amelia
3 min readApr 3, 2024
Photo by Dim Hou on Unsplash

Alright, listen up, you internet voyagers and basement dwellers. Gather ‘round the digital campfire and let me tell you a tale of woe and stupidity, starring yours truly. Yes, I, the magnificent writer you see before you, decided to take a little vacation to the dark web. Why? Boredom, curiosity, a morbid fascination with things that go bump in the digital night — who the hell knows?

Now, before we embark on this journey of questionable decisions, let me preface by saying: I’m not a complete idiot. I know the dark web is like the internet’s back alley, filled with shady characters, illegal goods, and enough malware to crash your grandma’s computer. But hey, I’m a brave soul (or an idiot, jury’s still out), so I donned my metaphorical trench coat and fedora, downloaded Tor, and plunged headfirst into the abyss.

First stop: The Hidden Wiki. Think of it as Wikipedia’s evil twin, where instead of learning about the history of basket weaving, you can find links to websites selling everything from drugs to weapons to, I kid you not, “slightly used socks.” Now, I’m not in the market for any of that (except maybe the socks, my feet get cold), but I was curious to see what else this digital flea market had to offer.