Member-only story
The Ridiculous Things I Do to Avoid Talking on the Phone
Hang Up and LOL: My Hilarious Attempts to Avoid Phone Conversations
As someone who struggles with phone anxiety, I Will do just about anything to avoid talking on the phone. From pretending To have bad reception to faking a sudden case of laryngitis , I have come up with some pretty ridiculous tactics over the years.
One of my go-to moves is to pretend to be my Own Voicemail. That’s right, I’ll answer the phone with a monotone “Hello, you’ve reached [insert my name here]. I’m not available at the moment , but please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” I’ve even gone so far as to record a fake voicemail greeting just in case someone catches on.
Another tactic I use is to simply ignore the call altogether and then send a text message saying something like “ Sorry , I missed your call . What’s up?” This works especially well when the caller is someone I’m close with, like a family member or friend who knows about my phone aversion .
But perhaps The most Ridiculous Thing I’ve done to avoid talking on the phone was pretending to be my own twin sister . Yes , you read that right . I once answered a call From a number I didn’t recognize and when the person asked for me by name, I quickly responded with , “ Oh…
